At Riding 4 Life, we get a lot of great feedback from our clients. There's a lot of smiles, laughter, and hairy hugs! But it's not all green pastures, unicorns, and rainbows. Learning horsemanship is really hard work! In fact, it has been the most challenging and onerous work of my life. But it can also be tremendously rewarding, and that is what has kept me motivated to persevere for all these years.
The Complexity of Equine Behavior
One of the biggest hurdles we face in learning horsemanship is... well... horses. They are 1000lbs flight animals often with metal clad hooves that can have thunderous impacts. As a result, their behaviour can be intimidating at minimum. And until you've gained enough knowledge (which takes years by the way) they can seem unpredictable at best, and volatile at worst.
While volatile certainly doesn't describe any of our equine staff at Riding 4 Life, many of our youth will confirm that our kind, generous, and very tolerant herd still often have ideas of their own, and that influencing their behaviour can be near impossible sometimes. Ever heard the saying, "the grass is always greener?"
Physical and Emotional Demands of Horsemanship
The physical demands of riding can be surprising for many young learners. Riding requires a blend of core strength, balance, and coordination, which can be difficult for those who are still developing their physical skills. In fact, opportunities for exactly that type of development are often what brings young riders our way in the first place.
For instance, many beginners may find themselves tired after just 15 minutes of riding, eroding their enthusiasm and leaving them feeling small or less capable. Just the weight of the saddle they're trying to lift onto their mount can feel like too much. And yes, if you plan to ride a horse with us, you're expected to work your way up to carrying its saddle!
The emotional rollercoaster of learning can be especially intense for young people still gaining resiliency. When they encounter setbacks, such as not achieving a riding goal or not being able to direct their horse at the speed or in the direction they want, they may be quick to feel discouraged. This reaction can lead to giving up instead of persevering through challenges.
Horses are not for everyone
While it pains me to say it, horses are not for everyone. As much as I think everyone should have horses in their lives, not all are going to get enough out of it to stay motivated through the really challenging stretches. And that's okay.
As a lifelong horsewoman, what's not okay, is expecting a horse to not be a horse, and somehow 'carry' humans despite our lack of skill, knowledge, and compassion for a horse's experience.
"Horses were never wrong. They always did what they did for a reason, and it was up to you to figure it out." - Jeanette Walls in 'Half Broke Horses'
As an instructor, I will never 'blame' a horse for not responding the way a rider (or a rider's parent) thinks they should. Horse's don't behave according to the same social pressures and expectations that humans often do. Mostly because they don't share the same brain physiology and therefore don't respond to the same shame inducing 'shoulds' that can sometimes be effective in shaping human behaviour.
I will also never knowingly or intentionally induce fear in a horse to control their behaviour. All the 'control' I appear to have with any given horse is achieved by way of worthy leadership, mindfulness and mastery over myself, and a set of horsemanship skills I like to call 'feel' skills. When I'm getting enough of those things 'right', my horse chooses to be with me, and consents to my requests. And that is what feels so magical and so rewarding at the end of the day.
The Power of Horsemanship
Looking back, some of the best teachers I ever had all shared a similar idea with me. Horsemanship is hard, and I am more than capable of doing hard things. And they were absolutely correct. What the horses all taught me, was that horsemanship is also quite humbling and incredibly empowering.
The most empowering part was realizing that by simply standing my ground (notice I didn't say easily), and being honest about who I am and what I hope for, these powerful animals would often say yes to me. They would say yes to a pudgy, pimply, lonely, 13 year old girl with virtually no friends and no worldly influence of note, who was maybe 15% of their size. They said yes to me in a world full of no.
The humbling part was coming to terms with the fact that they didn't owe me a thing and there was nothing I could do about that. And that meant that I got a lot of no's before I learned how to earn a 'yes'. And that is what Riding 4 Life is all about.
The Journey
Mastering horsemanship is a challenging but rewarding journey for anyone. Nothing else I have ever engaged in has shaped me, grown me, healed me, and frustrated me as much. After all these years I've come to relish that frustration (most days... but not all. I'm still human it seems).
So, if you or your child are feeling discouraged or frustrated in your horsemanship journey - from beginner to master - know that frustration and getting 'no' for an answer is an expected part of the ride. Encourage them to respect their horse's response, notice when they do earn a 'yes', and reflect on what helped them earn that response. And with that approach, we may all have happy trails and ride off into the sunset someday.
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